"the day of judgement is at hand,
jesus is in a shipping container in baltimore"
i wanted to just focus on the idea of jesus arriving in a shipping container.
would anyone open it? what if his shipping order was misfiled and he just sat in some truck yard, in a rusting container on the back of a tractor trailer with a broken axle?
maybe instead someone would pick it up mistakenly, and at a weighing station on I-70 the truck driver would pry it open and find jesus inside, and instantly jesus would baptize him as an apostle, and they would travel across the heartland of america, picking up do-gooder's and drifters alike, until they had all twelve, and outside of los angeles they would have a "last supper" in the trailer, with flour tortillas and ballantine beer in cans, and that night jesus would play a show in a dive-y club on the strip, and a girl named mary would be stage-diving and grab jesus and kiss him onstage. the next morning there would be an earthquake, causing a sea of oil to rise from the la brea tar pits, submerging the city and turning into a post-apocalyptic venice of sorts. and jesus would raise the exxon valdeez from the depths of the ocean, and he would ascend to the top, turn to face the burning screene, and swind his arms and clap his hands above his head to command the wind to extinguish the fires, and the wild rush of air would cause the oil to flow out of the city, dragging all of the sinners with scum it, and into the gaping hole in the ship- and jesus would seal the ship's hull shut with a flaming sword and sail triumphantly into the sunset, leaving the apostles on the shore behind, left to help try to make sense of it all.
